Lyrics

Let me tell of my trainer Roberto
From Triesta or some place like that
His Italian accent is so charming
I don't mind when he tells me I'm fat

On the subject of trainer Roberto
Who helps maintain figure and glow
I ask "is my body perfecto?"
"Julietta I would not say so"

He says that my hips are horrib-le
When I stand on the scale, it's a scandal
He ruminates sourly on my waist
He scowls at my every love handle

???
If only ten pounds less graca
If I vanquish my taste for vanilla
I might conquer this rocky impass-e

Oh Roberto my trainer's a good one
From Italia where pizza comes from
His ??? Italiano makes training such fun
I don't mind when he calls me a bum

Oh Julietta, non perfecta
Non perfecta, no no no
Oh Julietta, non perfecta
Non perfecta, no no no